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Entries from January 2008

Novocastrian babes and hunks!

January 27, 2008 · 3 Comments

Admittedly, my previous post highlighting the subtle differences between Swedish and British nightclubs painted a very poor image of the quality of ‘talent’ in Newcastle. Fortunately, Geordie ex-pat Jafabrit leapt to the rescue of her fellow Byker Grovers and posted a link to some cute ‘lasses’ - seen here. While I was still unwilling to admit that these ladies quite matched the charms of the scandinavian sirens, I was keen to explore the matter further which led me on a quick tour of the site Jafabrit linked to.

That’s where I found Dusk Night Club’s Babe and Hunk of the Month photos. Unfortunately, the contest ended in October 2006 (most likely due to that month’s babe clutching a bottle of what looks like Smirnoff Ice and clearly being about fifteen), and I felt it my duty to honour Dusk’s noble initiative and mock the seemingly abitrary winners on my blog. Here goes…

Babe - October 2006

Babe October 2006

I refer you to this article…

Hunk - October 2006

Hunk October 2006

Why that guy? Why? It seriously boggles the mind…

Babe - April 2006

Babe April 2006

Now, I actually think this girl is very attractive. Unfortunately, I think the guy behind her does as well. Euww….

Hunk - September 2006

Hunk September 2006

No, this is what cool looks like:

Fonz

You’re what a twat looks like.

Babe - August 2006

Babe August 2006

Sure, if my tits were spilling out and I was about to fellate a truncheon, I’d probably win babe of the month too. Look at the poor miserable wretches in the background. They should hook up. If anyone knows those two, let’s get them together!

Hunk - March 2006

Hunk March 2006

This guy is clearly a pro. He’s obviously won hunk competitions all over the place - from Newcastle to Durham. He’s so used to the attention that he barely stops to pose before moving on to date-rape his next target. My hero.

Categories: Fuck or Chuck

Swedish Street Art - Riding the Moose

January 27, 2008 · No Comments

Via Gatukonst.se

Moose

I’m not sure if this is deliberately abstract street verbage, clever prose poorly translated using BabelFish, or a message home from a high school kid attending the Moose-Riding and Brutal Suppression Summer Camp for Kids…

Categories: Pointless

Alien vs. Predator: Reqiuem - Follow up

January 25, 2008 · No Comments

For long-time readers of this blog (i.e. me), I thought I should follow up my previous post discussing the trailer for Alien vs. Predator: Requiem and share my experience of actually watching this less-than-eagerly anticipated sequel earlier this week.

Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten most of what happened. I do remember it had a silly ending that caused one geek to confidently assert to his equally geeky mates that the events of AVP-R were happening at the same time as those in Aliens. Note to Hollywood: Don’t encourage these fuckwits!

Categories: Film

The web’s most pointless blog posts #1 - Orb in Photo

January 25, 2008 · No Comments

Inspiring me to start a whole new series of articles exploring the Infoweb’s most aggravatingly substandard and time-wasting blog posts, the ominously-named Orb in Photo article from Paranormal & More kicks-off this celebration of the redundant.

Orb in Photo

“My daughter was playing around with one of her friends and they were taking pictures with digital camera and this one was maybe the 3rd picture taken and when we looked through all of the pictures we noticed this orb. Only on this picture! They took almost 200 pictures that day and this is the only one that had anything in it.

What do you think this is???

Umm…a waste of html? This post has received six comments. Six. And not one of them is calling the writer a fucktard. Internet trolls - you have failed me.

Here’s the link to the blog - though they do have annoying pop-ups that killed my Firefox, so you’ll probably be better off perusing my archives.

Categories: Pointless

Anti-underage sex campaign fucks with head

January 25, 2008 · 1 Comment

So…umm…fuck or chuck?

Is it just me or does this seem like something dreamt up by Brass Eye?

Taken from the pages of the unbeatable About:Blank - which also has an article where some news reporter gets bird shit in his mouth - go there now!

Categories: Fuck or Chuck